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Writer's pictureEric Chang

Want to Know How to Make Friends? Embrace Your Quirks

Embracing the Art of Being Yourself: Lessons from Caroline McHugh's TEDx Talk

In a world where it feels like everyone’s trying to fit in, Caroline McHugh’s TEDx talk, The Art of Being Yourself, is a breath of fresh air. She’s all about embracing those little quirks, those nuances that make each of us a one-of-a-kind, niche masterpiece. McHugh drops wisdom like, “Stop worrying about what others think, and start focusing on who you are.” It’s a message that resonates deeply, especially if you’re tired of playing by everyone else’s rules. And believe it or not, this is key to understanding how to make friends in a way that’s meaningful.



The Four Types of Self-Awareness

McHugh lays it out with a simple framework that gets right to the heart of why so many of us feel stuck between who we are and who we think we should be. She talks about four levels of self-awareness:


  • Self-Image: How you see yourself when you look in the mirror (and yeah, that means the good, the bad, and the bedhead).

  • Perceived Self: How you think others see you. Spoiler: we tend to get this one wrong because we overthink it.

  • Persona: This is the "social media version" of yourself—the one you put out there for the world.

  • True Self: Who you are when no one’s watching—your quirks, your niche interests, and those little things you don’t post about but love anyway.


McHugh’s point? We spend way too much time worrying about our perceived self and persona. But real freedom comes when you start living from the inside out—letting that true self out to play, even when it’s a bit quirky or doesn’t fit the mold. And this shift is at the core of how to make friends who appreciate the real you.


The Freedom in Letting Go

Caroline uses a great metaphor: being a “peacock in a land of penguins.” Now, it’s not that there’s anything wrong with penguins—they’re cute, they’ve got that classic black-and-white look—but if you’re a peacock, why not let those feathers shine? Instead of tucking away what makes you unique, McHugh invites us to let those vibrant, niche colors fly. When you do, you’ll find that knowing how to make friends is less about impressing people and more about finding those who truly vibe with your unique self.


It’s about letting go of that nagging need for approval and embracing the things that make you you. Maybe you’ve got a love for obscure indie films or a talent for writing haikus about your morning coffee. That’s where the magic is—those little details that make you a story worth knowing. And when you embrace these quirks, you naturally attract people who share your interests, making it easier to connect and understand how to make friends who value the same things.


Cartoon of a peacock amongst a crowd of penguins
Peacock in a Land of Penguins

Embrace Your Quirks

One of McHugh’s biggest takeaways? Your quirks aren’t flaws. They’re your secret sauce. Instead of spending all your energy trying to smooth out the edges, lean into them. Those oddball interests and unconventional hobbies are what make you interesting. And let’s be honest, they’re what make life a lot more fun too. This is a big part of how to make friends who appreciate you for you—because when you show up authentically, you attract people who do the same.


Authenticity isn’t just about being “real” with others; it’s about being real with yourself. It’s about admitting that you’re more than the highlight reel you show the world. When you accept all those quirky, niche parts of yourself, you’re not just happier—you’re also more open to finding people who appreciate the real you, which is a crucial part of how to make friends that truly matter.


The Art of Being Unapologetically You

McHugh’s message isn’t about rebelling against society or throwing caution to the wind. It’s about getting comfortable in your own skin and letting yourself be a little weird, a little offbeat. It’s about understanding that the path to self-acceptance is a winding one, filled with moments where you have to unlearn all the stuff that made you doubt yourself in the first place.


When you finally get to a place where you can embrace the art of being yourself, you’re not just doing yourself a favor—you’re creating a ripple effect. You inspire others to take a breath, drop the act, and show up as their true selves too. And when you do, you’ll find that how to make friends becomes a natural outcome of being true to yourself.


How Huppily Fits In

At Huppily, we’re all about that vibe. We believe the best connections start when you stop trying to fit in and start being real—quirks, nuances, and all. Huppily is here to remind you that you’re interesting because of your quirks and that the world isn’t just a peacock among penguins. It’s more like a world of a myriad of birds, each with their own unique feathers. By embracing who you are and showing off your true colors, you can find birds of the same feather to flock with—while appreciating the beautiful variety in everyone else’s. It’s about building connections that are more genuine, more meaningful, and way more fun. And yes, that’s exactly how to make friends who truly get you.

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